“Are there people who aren’t turned on by gang bang porn?” my friend responded when I asked if she was. Touché.
Even science shows that having a gang bang fantasy is normal. A 2014 study conducted by researchers at the University of Montreal and published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine suggested that 28.3 percent of women and 13.1 percent of men fantasized about having sex with more than one man at the same time, and that 24.7 of women and 75.3 percent of men fantasized about having sex with more than one woman at the same time. (A gang bang, by the way, can be but doesn’t have to be a bunch of cis men. I like to define a gang bang as one person being fucked by more than two people, but more on that to come.)
The shame and intrigue of gang bang fantasies
Despite the popularity of gang bang fantasies, they’re still stigmatized. At the least, you may experience more trepidation telling your partner that you watch gang bang porn than, say, anal. “Watching porn is a safe way to explore from a distance. Gang bang porn is something that I think a lot of people, whether they realize it or not, are aroused by, because the idea of group play, or multiple sexual partners simultaneously, has become mainstream enough for people to be curious, but it’s still taboo enough to be erotic,” says New York City-based publicist Melissa Vitale.
Vitale proudly enjoys the genre, although she loathes the term “gang bang” preferring to instead call it group sex. “I think the term creates an image of a woman with three men getting absolutely ruined while not enjoying the experience when usually, the woman is the one in the most control and the one who is experiencing the most pleasure,” Vitale says.
Watching lesbian porn helped me take the plunge and embrace my
bisexuality—sometimes porn helps us discover things about our
sexuality.
Your shame surrounding your gang bang fantasy may even be why you get off on it. “Shame and sexiness tend to be strongly tied together,” says sex-positive psychotherapist Liz Powell. “It’s not super clear why that is; part of it is that we live in a culture that shames sexuality generally. We may feel shame and think that means it’s sexy, but whatever the reason, it’s not uncommon.”
So, let’s form a coven circle (i.e., what happens here stays here) and discuss our gang bang fantasies with like-minded people and some of our favorite porn performers.
Remember: Porn is different from real life
Porn is fantastic. It allows you to explore your most secret and filthiest fantasies from the privacy of your own bed. We can use porn to discover what turns us on. Sometimes porn helps us discover things about our sexuality; for instance, watching lesbian porn helped me take the plunge and embrace my bisexuality. Other times, watching porn may just be like going to the movies and an engaging form of entertainment, but perhaps we don’t actually want our life to mirror the plot.
Regardless of if we want to turn our porn viewing habits into IRL experiences, it’s important that we acknowledge that the cinema comparison is accurate. “The same way people don’t drive the way they do in The Fast and the Furious, people don’t fuck the way they do in porn. The gang bangs you see in porn have all kinds of preparation, negotiation, and other things you don’t see that happen offscreen,” Powell says. Queefs are edited out, and the scene is prearranged.
Porn performer Ingrid Mouth, who starred in a Star Trek-themed gang bang for kink.com, says she was given multipart questionnaires to complete prior to shooting. “There was a checklist of boundaries and limits that asked for details on what I was and was not willing to do, in addition to being penetrated by five penises (things like bondage, slapping, or ball gags). They also asked if I had a specific fantasy I’d like to work out on camera. When I got the booking request, I was deliriously stoned and decidedly thrilled, and in this section, I wound up typing out an entire Star Trek fan fiction. It was titled: Star Trek: The Next Penetration.”
You’re still a feminist if you like gang bang porn. Being a feminist
is all about embracing what turns you on.
Mouth’s experience is reassuring to everyone in search of original porn that treats performers well, but also shows that there’s a lot of work put into your favorite gang bang porn to make it look as easy as it does on camera. “Experiencing a gang bang is pretty different from fantasizing about them for sure. It gets edited, and there’s so much starting and stopping,” says transgender adult filmmaker and performer James Darling. So watch all the gang bang porn you like, just understand that porn isn’t the same as real life apothekegenerika.de.
And on that note, please pay for your porn through a trusted platform — especially as, in the wake of FOSTA-SESTA, it’s more important than ever to support sex workers. If you’re not sure where to look, here is a handy list of porn sites worth paying for.
Gang bangs can be feminist and queer
In case you needed a reminder, there is no script of sexual fantasies that make you a good feminist or a bad feminist. Being a feminist is all about embracing what turns you on. So yes, you’re absolutely still a feminist if you like gang bang porn. A gang bang is often portrayed as a cis woman being multipenetrated by many sweaty cis men. There is often an aspect of degradation and humiliation, and yes, it’s chill if that’s your thing. “Women like sex. Some women like sex with multiple partners. There’s nothing wrong with sex and there’s nothing wrong with having a fantasy. And if your gang bang fantasy specifically involves degradation, well, that’s a whole fetish unto itself that is not gender-specific, and which can be hot as fuck in a consensual setting,” Mouth says.
For some people who enjoy gang bangs, there is power in the passivity. “Growing up transgender, I had body issues. For me, gang bang porn has a strong element of body and sex positivity to it,” says writer and comedian Amanda Kerri. “Here is a person at the center of the gang bang who is indulging in just wild, crazy abandon of moral taboos, any sort of sexual shame, and is just letting themselves become almost gluttonous with sex. It’s not the people using the woman in the center of a gang bang, but her. It’s her body and sexuality that’s the center of the lust, and she’s in full control of it,” Kerri explains.
If you are truly interested in a gang bang, you shouldn’t let status
quo prevent you from experiencing your fantasies.
However, there doesn’t have to be degradation, and the penetrators of the gang bang scene do not need bio penises. Strap-on dildos work great and can be used and worn by all genders. Kerri says, “The idea of a bunch of [cis] guys or other trans people just going to town on me? Hell, a bunch of women with strap-ons? Great. Now I’m turned on at work.”
What to know if you’re personally interested in gang bangs
Just because you have a fantasy, doesn’t mean you want to act it out in real life. Along with watching porn, using dirty talk and sex toys such as multiple dildos can be an excellent way to engage with gang bang fantasies without actually having one. However, for the people reading this who are curious about trying one (no shame), let’s review Your First Gang Bang 101 Basics.
“Scheduling a gang bang is hard because you have a lot of schedules to work with,” says Powell. “The easiest way to make them happen is if you already have a play community that you’re a part of, or multiple lovers.” If you aren’t a regular at sex parties or kink events, the kink social network FetLife can be a great place to meet people and learn about events. However, do your due diligence and meet people in person before you gang bang them.
If you haven’t ever had a threesome, I would start with that before having a gang bang. Technically, there can be as many people present as you desire. Discuss STI testing, statuses, and make sure everyone is on top of barrier use. Know that there is no such thing as risk-free sex: Condoms break, and STIs such as herpes and HPV can be spread even while using barriers.
Even if everyone is physically safe, a gang bang is going to be an emotional experience and, as discussed, quite different than you’ve seen in films. Or it may end up being one of the most sexually fulfilling experiences of your life. “I highly, highly, recommend doing research and talking to someone trustworthy with experience to provide insight and education to fulfill your fantasies safely, sanely and consensually. If you are truly interested in a gang bang, you shouldn’t let status quo prevent you from experiencing your fantasies,” Vitale says.
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