If you, like me, woke up to the news of podcaster Jensen Karp finding cinnamon-sugar-coated shrimp tails and other miscellaneous concerning crunchies in his Cinnamon Toast Crunch box and felt a strange yearning to be a part of this hellish dimension of reality where sweet shrimp is something you can eat with milk, never fear—I have you covered with a no-cook recipe that will have you saying, “I HATE IT HERE,” in absolutely no time. Gather your doubts in humanity and these six ingredients, and let’s get cooking!
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