Many people equate being alone with unwanted loneliness. But who is focused and can, health and self-worth stäTurks
In contrast to loneliness, to be alone can increase the well-being
He sits down, studied the menu, wählt duck with red cabbage and Kartoffelknödel, a water. To the Restaurant, he came alone. Now he is reaping, at times, compassion resonates. People seem to think: "How sad, when one has no one to eat with."
People need people. The Bedürfnis to NäHey, and security is in our nature. We want to dazugehören, and liked to be recognized. This is reflected in the importance we give to shared meals at dinner. However, time-outs, Rückzugsmöopportunities are important – in order not to lose contact with himself, his Gefüto arrange hle, off.
Surveys show that being alone is relaxing and healthy
In a survey of scientists and the British broadcaster, the BBC, under 18,000 people from 134 Lächange ended up being alone to place three of the Aktivitäten, felt by the participants as particularly restful. Number one read, then In-the-nature -. Both also nothing you gewösimilar in großen groups.
Psychologists of the Universität Dresden the Work-Life studied a few years ago-a Balance of just under 500 students and found that At least those suffering from mental and köphysical Beeinträpermissions, which have had enough time to "üon self-reflection to können". The researchers concluded that a certain amount of time of being alone effect on its own Gesundheitsfüsocial, health and impact.
Fear of existential aloneness
Nevertheless, to be alone usually has a negative connotation. Why? Perhaps because of this realization that one can meet in many different situations, maybe even in a circle of loved ones. All chat, laugh, one even has the Gesprächsfaden lost, staring into the Empty – and then üit berkommt.
"As much as we try to live in relationships, spüwe’re still very deep in all of us: Ultimately, we are alleine", Wunibald Mü says;ller, theologian, pastor and psychotherapist from Würzburg. We are born alone and will die alone. Even if other people accompany loving. Who is this realization hits, the can be afraid to get in front of this existential aloneness, the loneliness screams.
There are differences between being alone and loneliness. The sociology Professor Rolf Haubl, a former Director of the Sigmund-Freud-Institute in Frankfurt am Main: "To be lonely does hurts to be alone." Loneliness is not usually self-gewählt, to be alone. Karl-Heinz Ladwig, Professor für Psychosomatic medicine at the Helmholtz-Zentrum MüMunich, found in a study with üabout 4000 participants: "There are many people who live alone, but not lonely fümiss. But there are also many, the lonely füselect, although you are in a partnership of life."
Time to get in hineinzuhören
Singles, the glühappy? Not many want to believe. Rather, we tend to be people without a society, they were unhappy. Without an escort to the Restaurant? It makes, however, no one volunteered! But. In times of Smartphones, E-Mails, Facebook, where you never really quite für may be, is alone, a scarce &ndash be; and, therefore, valuable – Well. People go on holiday in the monastery, deliberately go offline, demonstrate mindfulness courses in hineinzuhören.
"To know who you are and what you want, stärkt ungemein", Ladwig, expert fü says;r mental health. Anyone who spends time with himself, his Kreativität föpromote and better decisions. The inner voice and the thoughts läit is sst.
People like to be alone without be lonely füchoose, knowledge of these positive sides of the time with yourself. And you are aware that If the others are absent, this does not mean that someone has no social contacts or relations is not in the habit. It has enough of the seclusion, to get to the contacts. Pastor Wunibald Müller: "I’m very happy for a few days, if I weiß, I then again in the circle of my family zurückkehre."
To be alone stäthe own strengthens self-efficacy
But what hält then the negative Image of being alone? Warum fümany people feel only in the company of others? The sociologist Rolf Haubl answered this question, he describes a scene: A small child plays with Bauklöpitches, throws them in a Cup. The mother intervenes. She wants to show him what you can still do everything with the Klösupport can do.
"The mother does so, as wüs your kid can think of nothing, as wüit would get bored, and faced with your idea of how to properly spielt", Haubl says. The child, however, was tried just and has what it self with the Klöappreciate everything start köcould. Exactly the müsse learn to To be alone genießto köcan.
Important Haubl are, according to the Belief in one’s own self-efficacy. The mother müsse is the child of confidence, it is easy to make. In this way, people are already collecting früh positive experiences of being alone and köspä can;ter for example, in crisis situations zurüretract and rest after a Lösung search.
Fear of negative Gefümiss: ÄußEUA stimuli serve as Betäexercise
Someone has not learned this, you can quickly get the painful Gefühl of loneliness. You are not able to be without the distraction only. It is not designed to cope with the negative emotions and thoughts, then präsenter. With Äfears, for example, unprocessed EnttäBush encroachment, or sadness, or simply boredom. Because you have the space not to fücases weiß, you are trying to do with Stimuli of außto betäpractice.
At the same time prevent too many charms to come to, to spend time only with themselves. It was the break loose Input üabout TV, Smartphones, computers, Tablets. Or be it the opinions and expectations of others, to make, for example, believe that people are only in love relationships Erfüposition find köcan or any möas many friends may be in need.
Who can be alone, genießt the company of others more
"Especially people with low self-esteem have to do with being alone schwer", psychotherapist Wunibald Mü says;ller. Überhöhte expectations of yourself hinder you: the Üconfidence, especially schön look or a lot of afford to müshot, in order to be liked by others.
Who has little self-awareness, the Bestäwork hardening and, therefore, often particularly urgent in the company of others. They serve as a Projektionsfläche. But only those who can be alone, könne of the community with other really genießen, erklärt of the expert. "Then enrich these people, and I of them abhäthis depends on the am."
But how can an adult learn to be alone to genieß can;en? "It may be hard to look at yourself to richten", pastor Mü says;ller. But you könne in small steps forward buttons. To gehöre, among other things, to question what Gefüyou will hle be gegenüber spüre: "They are warm, warmly, lovingly?", so Müller. And good to deal with themselves, something to göcan. About a Massage, a Kinovisit, or a particularly good Eat. Duck with red cabbage and Kartoffelknödel, for example. In the Restaurant you go schließin the best of company – with self.
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